‟When selfish happiness is the only goal in life, life soon becomes goalless,” wrote Romain Rolland. Even if we display every outward sign of happiness, we can never be truly happy if we dissociate ourselves from the happiness of others. A happiness painstakingly constructed in the kingdom of selfishness is as ephemeral and fragile as a castle built on a frozen lake, ready to sink at the first thaw.
Our own happiness is intimately linked to that of others: most of our difficulties actually arise because we lack concern for other’s well-being. As the Buddhist philosopher Shantideva wrote:
All the joy the world contains
Has come through wishing happiness for others.
All the misery the world contains
Has come through wanting pleasure for oneself.
This in no way requires us to neglect our own happiness. Our desire for happiness is as legitimate as anyone else’s. We must realize that in the deepest part of ourselves, we fear suffering and aspire to happiness. We should then realize that all sentient beings want to avoid suffering just as much as we do. The right not to suffer, though often ignored, is without a doubt the most fundamental right that living beings possess. Finally, we should develop the strong aspiration and readiness to do whatever we can to ease other’s suffering and contribute to their lasting well-being.